Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[voiceover, as a £10 note appears onscreen] Ladies and gentlemen, this is what is commonly known as money. It comes in all sizes, colours, and denominations - like people. We'll be using quite a bit of it in the next two hours... luckily I have enough for ALL of us.
Hamlet:
[Laurence Harvey, onstage] "To be..."
Youngman Grand, Esq.:
[loud enough to be heard, turning to Sir Guy] I've seen it.
Hamlet:
"Or not to be... that is the question."
Youngman Grand, Esq.:
Shakespeare, right?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[whispers, eyes toward the stage] Right, and double right.
Ginger Horton:
Ah! My Second World War Nazi atrocity book came at last.
[turns to Youngman, dog in her lap, and browses the book]
Ginger Horton:
Do you know what Bitsy and I do? We sit down and imagine all those atrocities being done to sex criminals. - Yes, sex criminals and the like. And that Dr Thorndike!
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[overhearing] What's that, Ginge? Bill Thorndike a sexy criminal?
Ginger Horton:
The man you sent me to. He behaved VERY strangely.
Youngman Grand, Esq.:
You're certainly puttin' everybody on today, Dad.
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
Well, you know, Youngman, sometimes it's not enough merely to teach. One has to punish as well. A little bit of the old pause.
Youngman Grand, Esq.:
Cause for pause?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
Yes.
Youngman Grand, Esq.:
Dad, do you think words corrupt?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
I don't know, let's try. Agnes?
Dame Agnes Grand:
[looks up from the television] Yes?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
Nipple.
Dame Agnes Grand:
Shh!
[turns back to the television]
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[watches her a moment] Well, there's no immediate physical change.
Traffic warden #27:
What's your game, Mister?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[riffling a wad of bills under the warden's nose, to persuade him to eat a parking ticket] Grand is the name, and, uh - money is the game. Would you care to play?
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[as he and Youngman admire a painting] I like school of Rembrandt.
Youngman Grand, Esq.:
St. Rembrandt's High.
復(fù)制復(fù)制成功復(fù)制失敗，請(qǐng)手動(dòng)復(fù)制
27復(fù)制復(fù)制成功復(fù)制失敗，請(qǐng)手動(dòng)復(fù)制
Sir John復(fù)制復(fù)制成功復(fù)制失敗，請(qǐng)手動(dòng)復(fù)制
ba5復(fù)制復(fù)制成功復(fù)制失敗，請(qǐng)手動(dòng)復(fù)制
:
[Oxford has just purposely rammed Cambridge, at the annual Boat Race] It would never have happened in my day!
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
Nor mine!
Youngman Grand, Esq.:
Well, it's happenin' in mine!
Sir Herbert:
[pleads with Laurence, the ship's doctor] If you could please just give me some tranquilizers...
Laurence Faggot:
Escape into drugs? Mask your fears in an artificial fog? Oh, surely you can't be serious.
Sir Herbert:
Oh, well... give me some decent English aspirin!
Laurence Faggot:
[pulls out a lit marijuana joint] Here, Sir Herb, try this. It's just what the doctor ordered.
Sir Herbert:
What is it?
Laurence Faggot:
It's cannabis, Sir Herb.
[inhales, then, choked]
Laurence Faggot:
It'll tighten your wig.
Hon. Esther Grand:
[as all hell breaks loose, aboard the Magic Christian] Youngman, what IS going on?
Youngman Grand, Esq.:
[innocently] Ship's concert, I shouldn't wonder.
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[on being told a Rembrandt might fetch £10,000 at auction] In that case my final offer is thirty.
Mr. Dougdale:
[stunned] Thirty - thousand - pounds? Shit! I beg your pardon, I do beg your pardon.
Announcer on 'Magic Christian':
[as the 'Magic Christian' starts to sink] Go to B-Deck immediately! I repeat: Go to C-Deck immediately!
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[a police car drives up to Grand's car] Could be routine, or... mere damnable harassment.
Sir Guy Grand KG, KC, CBE:
[Lawrence Harvey performs a strip tease while playing Hamlet] This chap's taking licence in my view?復(fù)制復(fù)制成功復(fù)制失敗，請(qǐng)手動(dòng)復(fù)制
